You are God. You are God. Of all else I'm letting go!
1. I want to quit school and leave this country. Why you might ask? Well because I just want to live for Jesus all the time. I want to do ministry 24/7, and I feel like school is getting in the way of that. I don't want to have to wait 2 1/2 more years, I yearn so much to serve. I know, I know, school is there to help me prepare for ministry, to make me a better minister, but it doesn't matter how much I rationalize it, my heart wants to be in a position of serving all the time. And why out of this country you might ask? I'm over the shallowness, consumerism, and lack of commitment that this country and Christians in it have. I know that sounds harsh, but I can't stop thinking about how can I truly call myself a follower of Jesus Christ and yet live the way I do... always wanting more, thinking of only myself, and being comfortable with being comfortable. These are all things encouraged by this country but opposed by my Savior. I want to go and serve the people who have nothing, I want to show hope to the hopeless, I want to share the gospel with people who have never even heard of it. I want to be authentic in all that I do. I pray that God just gives me patience, energy, and a renewed sense of trusting him. I know his timing is better than mine, and his ways are better than mine. I just need clarity. God give me clarity.
2. My selfishness. How can I be so distraught, and worried about myself? Some people have real problems! Life and Death problems! God forgive me, for thinking of myself too much. I have friends in much need of prayer, more prayer than I could ever need, and yet when I talk to them they say "I'm praying for you, Austin." Me? Why? You need it so much than I! I want to be that unselfish, that when I'm going through life's toughest struggles (like death) I will be able to put my friends above me. With that said, I have friends who need clarity. They need to make the right decisions, and these are decisions where right is not so clear, or they refuse to see what is right. God give them clarity. Pray for clarity for my friends.
3. Irony. As I write this blog I find the irony in about everything I say. All I need to do is trust, and let go right? Right. I know this, but... but nothing "just trust" is what God says to me (literally as I am righting this). God is God and that is all I need to know. He will make all things work for my good. I need peace, and he is peace. Duh! I need clarity, but the things that are clouding my vision, I put there. The times that I feel the most alive and fulfilled and authentic is when I'm focused on Jesus. So God, help me focus. Forgive me for the things I put in my way that cloud my vision of you. Help me remove them from my sight. God for my friends please help them focus on you as well, knowing that is when clarity comes the most for them as well.
4. Prayer.
-a man yearning to do the Father's will.
Okay so I don't really know where to begin, well because there is so much going on at once in my brain I can barely think straight. Welp no better place to start than the beginning...
1. I want to quit school and leave this country. Why you might ask? Well because I just want to live for Jesus all the time. I want to do ministry 24/7, and I feel like school is getting in the way of that. I don't want to have to wait 2 1/2 more years, I yearn so much to serve. I know, I know, school is there to help me prepare for ministry, to make me a better minister, but it doesn't matter how much I rationalize it, my heart wants to be in a position of serving all the time. And why out of this country you might ask? I'm over the shallowness, consumerism, and lack of commitment that this country and Christians in it have. I know that sounds harsh, but I can't stop thinking about how can I truly call myself a follower of Jesus Christ and yet live the way I do... always wanting more, thinking of only myself, and being comfortable with being comfortable. These are all things encouraged by this country but opposed by my Savior. I want to go and serve the people who have nothing, I want to show hope to the hopeless, I want to share the gospel with people who have never even heard of it. I want to be authentic in all that I do. I pray that God just gives me patience, energy, and a renewed sense of trusting him. I know his timing is better than mine, and his ways are better than mine. I just need clarity. God give me clarity.
2. My selfishness. How can I be so distraught, and worried about myself? Some people have real problems! Life and Death problems! God forgive me, for thinking of myself too much. I have friends in much need of prayer, more prayer than I could ever need, and yet when I talk to them they say "I'm praying for you, Austin." Me? Why? You need it so much than I! I want to be that unselfish, that when I'm going through life's toughest struggles (like death) I will be able to put my friends above me. With that said, I have friends who need clarity. They need to make the right decisions, and these are decisions where right is not so clear, or they refuse to see what is right. God give them clarity. Pray for clarity for my friends.
3. Irony. As I write this blog I find the irony in about everything I say. All I need to do is trust, and let go right? Right. I know this, but... but nothing "just trust" is what God says to me (literally as I am righting this). God is God and that is all I need to know. He will make all things work for my good. I need peace, and he is peace. Duh! I need clarity, but the things that are clouding my vision, I put there. The times that I feel the most alive and fulfilled and authentic is when I'm focused on Jesus. So God, help me focus. Forgive me for the things I put in my way that cloud my vision of you. Help me remove them from my sight. God for my friends please help them focus on you as well, knowing that is when clarity comes the most for them as well.
4. Prayer.
Yahweh!
I call on your most holy name right now. You are so awesome and mighty and incredible. And I am not. Thank you for your steadfast love, and untiring pursuit of my heart. God I pray for my friends, you know who they are. Protect them, Father. Be their rock, refuge, shield, and sword. God help them focus on you, so that things will be the most clear and true for them. God help their decisions line up with your will. God of Justice, be just. God of Peace, bring peace. God of Knowledge, bring wisdom. God be God. Father I pray for focus, and trust, and for your heart to take the place of mine. Thank you so much for your son and his life, death, and resurrection. To you be all the glory, honor, and praise, forever and ever. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I call on your most holy name right now. You are so awesome and mighty and incredible. And I am not. Thank you for your steadfast love, and untiring pursuit of my heart. God I pray for my friends, you know who they are. Protect them, Father. Be their rock, refuge, shield, and sword. God help them focus on you, so that things will be the most clear and true for them. God help their decisions line up with your will. God of Justice, be just. God of Peace, bring peace. God of Knowledge, bring wisdom. God be God. Father I pray for focus, and trust, and for your heart to take the place of mine. Thank you so much for your son and his life, death, and resurrection. To you be all the glory, honor, and praise, forever and ever. In Jesus' name, Amen.
-a man yearning to do the Father's will.
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